New Years Rez

Okay here is my New Years Rezzies:
1.)Lose weight! Like alot of weight....maybe 13-15 for now
2.) STOP PROCRASTINATING
3.) Party it up more
4.) Get off of my fat ass and work out more
5.) Reach my one year with the bf (and hopefully more <3)
6.) Get 5s on my AP Exams
7.) Lotsa community service
8.) Just do the things I never have had the guts to
9.) Not be so stressed out
10.) Figure out what I want
There's probably more but I'll make them as I go. I want to actually acheive these so I don't want them to be too unmaneagable.

I wish I could feel thin. Know matter how much I lose I am always a lard ass. Even if I can somehow see maybe that I might be thin for a second after staring in the mirror for hours I lose it. I can't even picture in my head how I look because I have no self perception. My face and body are malformed and bloated. Maybe I am pretty and skinny, but why can't I feel it? People think this is fun, its not. I sit there for hours after I eat and panic so hard I can barely breathe as I try to push it out of my head. 
Better luck tomorrow and less food I hope.
GOAL: 300 calories